The Hospital (2013)

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Frankly, a sadistic trip into murder, rape and shoddy filmmaking that tries to pull every shock on the audience to make this a horror. It’s a horror of a film just not in the terms of scaring you or maintaining suspense.

The thin plot features a near 100% complete set of naive girls that enter for the chance to go on a ghost hunt around a supposedly haunted and abandoned hospital. A rather huge, greasy caretaker though puts stops to females that take interest in the building and after some time the girls numbers dwindle as another motive becomes clear.

Just from the beginning it’s evident that the film is quite poor, it looks so amateurish and the opening credits that feature the names of actors and clips of their performances is odd, lengthy and just dull. The song playing over this and the end credits is just plain stupid and is clearly an original in gifting us the wholly unscary lyrics of ‘Stanley’s gonna getcha’ as if they’re trying to emanate the classic chills of Freddy in ‘A Nightmare on Elm Street’. The unglossed factor continues with some terrible performances in the cafe at the start of the movie with the local townspeople in general being wooden as the spade that gets shoved through someone’s head later on. It all just appears bad schlock fest and ideas of deaths become silly and laughable as even badder cheap CGI takes place to off certain people, i.e, a head being sliced off by wire or the blood splats in places.

Sometimes though the less budget side of this film serves well in the story of what is going on in this hospital and it gives it that seedy grimy edge needed for the actions taking place. The hospital itself is a great location and looks suitably iconic for a horror film, it’s just what goes on inside becomes too much with no real drive to identify with characters or plot. The two male characters staying with the women to help film the ghost tour are at first annoying and cheesy but then when something else occurs and they develop, they both sell the characters well, not in making you take their sides but in really making you hate them. With the cheaper production value it’s fair to imagine that the writers would have wanted something dynamic or at least interesting to keep the audience engaged and at times the half decent twists are good. That’s perhaps the only quality of the script that raises the bar of this film otherwise the torture porn of the story would have had me switching off way before then.

It’s very sickening in the treatment of women in particular and the ways in demeaning them, torturing them and taking pleasure from raping them becomes increasingly hard to swallow and there’s just no need for this film to revel in the bloody explicit nature it expresses. A graphic slayer movie that uses and abuses the females with only a dildo on a drill…yep, really, serving as torture for a male figure.

I don’t try and find negatives in films, in truth I do the opposite and always try and see positives or a positive in a film even if I didn’t like the movie overall, but aside from the kind of okay-ish twist ideas there’s nothing to see here and I don’t understand how it ever got presented at Cannes. It looks like some dodgy GCSE film project made by male students wanting to get women naked and spill as much blood as possible.

This just isn’t in any way creepy or scary. A horrible horror with no good performances, no good powerful ending really and no good in trying to do something fresh with the now stale and vile gorno sub genre of horror movies.

3.5/10

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