Ten from the Bottom ’16

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Well thank goodness 2016 is nearly over. What an eventful year, iconic celebrities passing away, politics around the world going crazy, Stranger Things deservedly soaring, Trump undeservedly soaring and movies of the past 12 months missing the mark more than usual. It truly was a disappointing year for film with a lot of the feature’s I’d seen scoring average marks at best.

This easily could have been a Top 20 list…I’ve even had to be cheeky enough to tie a couple of films just to squeeze them into the running order. I’m also sick of this year and looking forward to a joyful experience of 2017 that here’s the bad movies that just missed out from pride of place in the final countdown:

Ghostbusters….The Legend of Tarzan….A Bigger Splash….Bad Neighbors 2….X-Men: Apocalypse….Office Christmas Party….Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children….The Big Short….Bad Moms….Keeping up with the Joneses….The Girl on the Train….Finding Dory….Passengers….The BFG and The Huntsman: Winters War.¬†

On with the main show then —

10) SUICIDE SQUAD…AND SAUSAGE PARTY

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Yes it’s cheating the system slightly but just call it the Troy Review Electoral College and this is why they both win (or lose by being in the list). Firstly with Suicide Squad, an eagerly awaiting fun looking film with a punchy trailer that actually had a poor script, poorer execution, a soundtrack like an epileptic record player and a bad Joker. Squad review.

Sausage Party had a good if not great premise but is such a film catered to guffawing teenagers with smut layered on every scene that eventually the sex jokes wear thin and there’s nothing left to offer…that food orgy scene is OTT, a lame sequel set up comes about and well…read more in my full review —> SP

9) ME BEFORE YOU

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Not my type of film anyway but on top of this is the near constant cheesiness involved. It’s also a film pushing into trying to be that sad movie that girls wipe away stains of mascara after watching it. More than this, the problem lies with the main disability and how forced it becomes. Me B4 U review

8) ALLIED

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The so-called passion between Cotillard and Pitt is more wet than a Christmassy brussel sprout fart, the story-line is absurdly dull with no clever turn and the boredom factor reaches near Spinal Tap levels of 11. Don’t be a traitor, read the full review here.

7) ZOOLANDER 2

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Fashion is danger! So is this ‘comedy’ sequel sprawling with celebrity cameos, a very shaky script and an overwhelming disappointing feeling you get by seeing it. It tries too hard and fails harder…check out how hot my review is right now.

6)¬†FRIEND REQUEST…AND THE 5TH WAVE

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Let’s begin with Friend Request which is like an unwanted invite you get after seeing Unfriended. This sort of follow up/remake film is terrible. There’s lame jump scares, things become unintentionally funny and it feels similar but badly so to the visual flair of Unfriended. Delete now.

Chloe Grace Moretz in this shocking young adult science fiction attempt is okay but stares into the distance a lot, like I did trying to watch this film. Cheap effects and a terrible twist don’t help the movie along. Review.

Into the Top 5 we go –

5) AMERICAN PASTORAL

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The directorial debut from Ewan McGregor but not one to remember. The one word that would describe this movie is boring. It could have been way more interesting and powerful but it’s overly sentimental and hard to get through. American Bore

4) WARCRAFT

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So much going on and none if it really any good is this mostly boring fantasy flick from the brilliant director Duncan Jones…though you wouldn’t think it watching this. Long, silly and a titled beginning which hopefully has no middle or end to come. Borecraft.

3) BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE

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Long. A ridiculous plot. Lex Luthor’s more ridiculous plan. Jesse Eisenberg’s even more ridiculous acting. Boring Cavill. Boring generally. MARTHA! Thank goodness for Batfleck. BvS review

2) WIENER-DOG

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A couple of laughs really really really don’t save this film. It’s dreary, striving to be artistic and/or pretentious. The comedy it does have becomes annoying as it gets drawn out to breaking point. The movie is disjointed and the ending of it all is so horrendous and of bad taste that it leaves the film with such a sour note making you hate it further. Wiener of a film

Well…after taking that depressing trip down movie memory lane, I’ve come to the end of the line. Numero uno, the big kahuna of bad…a film so utterly terrible, unfunny and disgraceful that I knew it would be the first placed worst movie as soon as I’d finished watching it, almost a year ago.

1) DIRTY GRANDPA

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What do you want?? Read my review. I don’t wish to waste time writing more about this film. Go away…see you (hopefully) in 2017!

My Favourite Film of the Year….so far.

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So far, and yep I know it’s early days, this film is my favourite movie to hit screens and hit screens it does, it smashes across them with drum beats and blistering battles of ego in such a cool and musically slick way. I can already see this film being in my top ten of 2015 by the time 2016 rolls on around. That’s testament of how good I feel all factors of ‘Whiplash’ are.

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Miles Teller and J. K. Simmons are hitting every high note planted on their song sheet (scripts) and pit off against each other with a suitable and perfect ending, the jazz ride there is fierce and brutal, a contained thriller set around drumming never looks the part on paper but trust me if you still haven’t seen it, it’s worth the entry fee.

To see what else I said about Damien Chazelle’s energetic original and Oscar winning film, click on WHIPLASH.

Megamind (2010)

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Hey! It’s been a year since I posted my first review on this very movie blog. That’s quite mega don’t you think, so in weak relation to that I’m reviewing ‘Megamind’. It’s zippy, fun and entertaining too, just like keeping up with writing for this review blog is, so dive right on in to see what I thought of DreamWorks 2010 hero themed toon.

Rivals since babies; Megamind (Will Ferrell) and Metro Man (Brad Pitt) play the same revenge battles in Metro City until one day Megamind may finally come to winning. In the possibility of no hero and no need to keep on kidnapping reporter Roxanne (Tina Fey) what can Megamind do to keep occupied and will his answer make things worse like normal?

It’s not in any way a fresh story to run with, superheroes in both live action and animation are old hat but this film has some zippy visuals and fun energetic voice casting to help it along a lot. The destruction looks great and you can see where the 3D would have fitted in. Buildings crumble, sprays of Megamind graffiti line streets and explosions fill this Metropolis inspired city. The superhero angle is winked at from Lois Lane like Roxanne to Batman like lair and a mention of a Fortress of Solitude.

Brent Simons and Alan J. Schoolcraft don’t excel fully, some of their hero connected plot work is smart and suitably silly but not enough is different enough to feel as zany as it’s trying to be or remarkable enough to be a new thing. The story line is predictable from a long way off as you read into where each character is going, but that’s not a widely bad point, it is a family film after all and so it shouldn’t be too confusing, just maybe the good vs evil angle could have been played around in a less obvious manner.

Rocky soundtrack choices and humour in Megamind’s mispronunciation are a couple of selections from a few quite neat comedic touches in Tom McGrath’s enjoyable cartoon ride. The multiple coded code word back and forth discussions, the blase reactions of Roxie to her kidnaps, the radio cutting between songs and Megamind’s way of dealing with his loss of an obstacle are funny additions and keep the film running at a steady and welcome pace.

Will Ferrell gives the large blue headed alien baddie a buffoonish quality but yet with an endearing note that leaves you liking him no matter how idiotic he acts. The vocals he gives when the film spoofs Marlon Brando in Superman are hilarious and there for the adult audience. There’s a spark of wit in Megamind’s dialogue that gives him depth and character to carry the film more than well. This witty trend is shared greatly with David Cross and the quick firing banter he has with Megamind as talking fish sidekick, Minion. Brad Pitt gives his voice nicely to the showboating and over heroic Superman-esque stylings of Metro Man. Tina Fey is great at the nonchalant mannerisms and gives a balanced degree of heart and offish reaction to her reporting character. Jonah Hill as doofy nerd cameraman Hal is typically Hill but his character progresses and so does his vocal work so all in all the cast are very good at playing this story out.

A superhero parcel arriving at the door that needs not be opened before you know what’s inside, but there’s an amount of joy to be had in unwrapping that parcel. Metaphor aside and near the end of an anniversary review, ‘Megamind’ is rapid, fun and harmless heroic play.

6/10