Scoob! (2020)

Is this newly released VOD animated film a slavering Scooby snack or a meddling mess? Well it runs down a never changing corridor of both, with fast quips and cartoonish capers adding to the tasty joy but a hodge-podge of characters detracts from the very soul of Scooby Doo and company.

As a youngster, Norville “Shaggy” Rogers (Will Forte) can make no friends until one day on the beach he’s acquainted with a stray pup who he bonds with and names Scooby Dooby Doo. Flash forward ten years and the ever-hungry duo have grouped with Fred (Zac Efron), Daphne (Amanda Seyfried) and Velma (Gina Rodriguez) to create Mystery Incorporated. However their usual hijinks may be put to the test as a dastardly menace needs their prized pooch to claim treasure from the Underworld.

At first glance the visuals seem off and perhaps if, like me, you’ve grown up with the trademark hand-drawn styles of Mystery Inc, then the new blocky computer animation takes a while to warm to. Also, the general opening with seeing how the crew take shape is less than necessary, as three of them are already together anyway. This is a tale strongly following the core relationship of Shaggy and his first true mate and though it’s never resplendent with emotion there is a sense of heart to their developing and unravelling spark throughout the 94 minutes.

There are other positives along the way, the comedy of pop culture and buffoonish brilliance takes a golden stride in a cheaper but no less satisfying reflection of ‘Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs’ and little character quirks within the famous five are done nicely, even with hearing these well-loved, well-known characters’ voices not sounding the part. It all feels zippy and carries an energetic vigour to prevent any fidgeting boredom from kids watching and has enough buzz for the millennials and older who know the gang inside and out, plus Scrappy never rocks up so that’s a blessing also.

The main problem aside from Will Forte sounding like himself and not Shaggy is the jumble of Hanna-Barbera properties tied into some frenetic universe. The cinematic landscape has quite clearly shifted thanks to the likes of superhero movies and sadly this animated release takes on that formula by including heroes, big baddies and is complete with its very own sky-beam.

What makes the simple yet effective model of the original cartoon TV series work is the admittedly repetitive yet intriguing notion of friends uncovering mysteries. This film yanks out the soul of the show and replaces its unmasking and clue solving by revealing the villain and their plan; therefore you lose all sense of delicious self-involvement to guessing who might be hiding under the cowl/mask/costume. It’s also a story that ends without the smoke and mirrors act normally put on to try and thwart Mystery Inc and instead there’s a real hellish breakout which even for Hanna-Barbera seems a cartoonish step too far.

‘Scoob!’ has some cutesy moments and the trials of friendship are explored quite nicely, plus it all slides along with speed but the mystery is lost and you’re just left with an incorporated jumble from Warner Animation.

5/10

Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (2018)

Ugh, here we go again! A sequel/prequel to the fifth highest grossing film of 2008 is on our shores and with the success of the first ABBA inspired musical, I imagine this follow up will stay in those successful footsteps even if it is a lame rom-com story and does very little to dispel the notion that it’s a stonking great cash grab.

It’s been five years since Sophie’s (Amanda Seyfried) wedding and she’s now busy planning the reopening of her mum’s hotel. As the final preparations are under way, the story cuts back and forth between this and Donna (Lily James) back in 1979; just graduated and wanting to see the world. The film then follows her meeting Sophie’s trio of fathers and how her stay in Greece came to be.

Firstly, it’s not a major issue that the songs are relentless throughout but this musical almost shoehorns songs in that vaguely fit in with what’s going on during the narrative. I was listening to lyrics and some just don’t coincide with what’s been or is happening at all. Secondly, the film only just kicks off and we’re right into a song, I know it’s a musical but there’s something about the ‘Mamma Mia’ landscape that serves up a cringe aspect alongside the jovial antics, extremely evident in the graduation sequence and the Waterloo themed restaurant.

This film feels like it was battering me over the head with song after Swedish created song, that by the end I was involved and part of the music. It’s as if I was bombarded to say Thank You for the Music because it was incessant. It may have been the broken will but I have to say that the glittery disco themed Super Trouper number was an enjoyable blast, Mamma Mia itself is a fun listen/watch and Angel Eyes is sold nicely thanks to the power of the actors behind the song.

Ol Parker’s screenplay from a story by him, Catherine Johnson and Richard Curtis is a loosely veiled attempt at tying two stories together. The plot doesn’t do much to really make you care for Donna, she just seems like a young gal gallivanting and exploring what our planet has to offer, though she seems to know she belongs in Greece after only going to visit Paris. The hotel re-opening is a flimsy excuse to get the sprawling cast back together but amongst the less than inspired writing there are some funny moments. A sassy Greek lady, a goat chase and the terrific double act of Julie Walters and Christine Baranski are great highlights.

Lily James is superb, she gives the background of Meryl Streep’s character such radiating presence. She may fall in and out of beds but she has such a bubbly performance throughout this film that you can’t help but like her and James’ infectious smile even made this cynical chap less so. Seyfried is a class act, she’s always reliable for musical features and her talented vocals do this film wonders amongst the likes of some less than gifted singers elsewhere in the cast. She manages to be expressive and likable in a role that sees her bridging gaps between the past and present. The ‘singing’ and dad-dancing of Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan and Stellan Skarsgard is awkward but highly amusing. Cher rocks up like this wicked west persona; the helicopter and her introductory music add to this oncoming doom but she does little in the film and reveals a name before singing that song which is an eye roll AND sigh if ever there was one but it’s Cher, I can’t say anything bad, can I!?

This sun-drenched film arriving 10 years after the original didn’t need to arrive at all, it’s not a fascinating story and the cringe is most certainly real but it’s a carefree bop that knows what it is; a summery feel good distraction that will have die-hard ABBA fans singing in the cinemas and calling out for the inevitable singalong versions.

5.5/10

First Reformed (2018)

The writer behind great and iconic films ‘Taxi Driver’ and ‘Raging Bull’ has, it’s fair to say, had quite a run of middling to poor releases but this recent drama has gained lots of attention and acclaim. It’s a slow-burning watch that sheds light on Paul Schrader’s quality scripting of central figures facing conflict.

Ernst Toller (Ethan Hawke) is a reverend at the First Reformed church in New York, a building soon facing its 250th anniversary. In the build up to this, Toller begins keeping track of his thoughts in a journal for a year. He also gets asked by church-goer Mary (Amanda Seyfried) to help counsel her husband Michael, who is becoming isolated through his strong views about global warming.

In contrast to what a lot of people seem to be saying, I found the first 90 minutes or so of the film to be the strongest. The final 20 are indeed out there moments and give the movie a bold spiritual identity, but I liked the gentile almost unnerving pace of watching the reverend’s character being set up and then dismantled as his paths and beliefs cross with Michael.

This conflict of belief makes for an engrossing watch and Schrader keeps the majority of scenes in a static, square aspect ratio of 1.37:1. This screening gives the film a vaguely claustrophobic feel, his decision to have little-to-no non-diegetic sound also adds a theatricality to the movie, as if they’re playing out these unexpected turn of events on n intimate stage. It’s only as the final minutes arrive that the camera becomes more animated, circling around characters and moving more than it had been, this works with the dramatic interpretative ending and makes the choices of Toller that much more elevated.

‘First Reformed’ does have transcendent moments which have us literally floating through the beauty of Mother Earth and the consequent destruction it bears, thanks to the actions of the human race but it’s this moment that the weighty climate change theme becomes too on the nose. However a scene between Toller and Michael discussing the horrors of pollution, deforestation etc is brilliant; it’s fuelled with bitterness from Michael and struggle from Toller as he worries for the future and questions his faith.

Amanda Seyfried excels in a turn as a grief-stricken wife bearing a child. I’m sure it’s no coincidence that she’s called Mary, as Seyfried plays a comforting welcome presence to the toils of Toller’s journey. Their pairing certainly takes unpredictable turns but she and Hawke act the binding of their souls well enough to almost forgive how annoyingly the film took me out of the story by the end. Ethan Hawke is quite hypnotising as this pastor facing near Travis Bickle levels of anguish. He never over eggs the performance, ensuring the subtlety of Toller gives him that shaky edge of instability and his problems become a believable oil slick on his life.

If you don’t like slow films…or like Trump, you don’t believe that climate change is a thing then this emphatically underlined story of faith, loss and a parable for the modern era with politics and global warming, is not for you. Aside from a hugely disappointing ending, this is a film that’s thought provoking and will stick with me.

7/10

Gringo (2018)

Nash Edgerton, brother of Joel, offers up this misfiring Mexican set crime comedy as his debut film and with an opening that’s bombed hard, he may need to think about going back to the drawing board.

Head honcho of a company, that is heading into a merger is Richard Rusk (Joel Edgerton) who is a greedy piece of work, as is Elaine Markinson (Charlize Theron). The two are laser focused on getting what they want and screwing everyone over, including apparent friend of Rusk; Harold (David Oyelowo) who is left behind in Mexico. Soon he calls through saying he’s been kidnapped and a barrage of heightened moments follow.

I think one of the biggest issues this film has is how messy the plot feels. There’s just a bit too much going on and as more madness ensues down in the heat of Mexico, it gets tiresome and badly handled. This is a great shame because this in fact could have been a nifty movie with surprising turns and cartel-ridden sequences but it falls short of that promising ideal by a big stretch. Another issue lies with the promotion of the film, from the trailer it seems like an oddball comedy and you end up with a crime narrative, which I would have liked had I not expected to be amused along the way.

It’s like I can imagine that Matthew Stone and Anthony Tambakis have written this thinking what they’ve come up with is funny but it either lands horrendously flat or comes across as rude; i.e – Elaine pretending to be deaf. There’s not one moment where I or the few other audience members laughed or even chuckled, I think I smiled once because of the sheer force that is Oyelowo as Harold trying to keep his head afloat on this sinking, stinking ship.

I will admit that some of the kidnap plot is quite engaging. It starts off interestingly and is vaguely entertaining to watch unravel but the folding in of other characters, places and story-lines just began to detract from this quite enjoyable mishap of errors that Harold finds himself in the middle of. On the whole though, this is something I won’t remember come the end of the year, the scenes are mostly forgettable and the majority of characters are insanely unlikable, in a way that I just didn’t care to try and get engrossed into the plot.

As said, a lot of the figures within this film have no redeeming qualities and leading the pack is Joel Edgerton who, to be fair, does encapsulate the arse-hat boss with arrogance and disloyalty worn on his clothes like badges. Charlize Theron is somehow even slimier and nastier than Richard Rusk, and again she plays these characteristics well but it was a role of spite that I didn’t enjoy. David Oyelowo and Amanda Seyfried are the only actors that exit this film with any real dignity intact. Both of their characters feel human, likable and warm, their interactions are some of the more grounded and better parts of this film.

There are some alright scenes that kept me sort of interested to the film and Oyelowo is great, but I was close to feeling bored in an up and down, messily made film that outstays its welcome.

5/10

Ted 2 (2015)

Foul and furry as ever, come to life walking teddy bear Ted is back in a more human capacity as he and thunder buddy John swear, get high and travel to New York. In a way this is a better movie than the 2012, it’s a got a more interesting scope and there are funnier sequences involved in the madness of unsurprising dumb frat boy humour.

John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg), now divorced is still best buds with cursing smoking Ted (Seth MacFarlane) who marries Boston lass Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth). Though as they try and adopt Ted realises he’s being followed up as a non human, property and therefore his marriage will be void and his life will change. The thunder buddies and novice lawyer Samantha (Amanda Seyfried) fight the courts to try and prove that Ted is capable of human traits.

The story by MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild could have been dull and though it’s more of the same in terms of certain events, i.e the threat of Donny, they utilise on a grander more emotional pull of court justice and humanity. Amongst the often crap humour the trio of writers bring in that weighty theme of civil rights and apply it to a bear, which actually works. It’s an interesting step up to see where else they could have taken Ted and this was probably the best route.

Fight through the bong bombardment and other kindergarten comedy and you will find some humourous moments. The comedy improv scene is brilliant for just being so black in comedy, the cutaway of lipstick wearing Ted calling out for sexual acts reminds of the typical Family Guy style and John failing to cope with Samantha’s dope is damn funny, I don’t know why but Wahlberg sells the scenes as he clings to walls scared to walk home. On the whole, the film has nothing laugh out loud about it and I probably smiled or chuckled less than ten times, but for that audience of teens it will no doubt suffice.

Classier than the rest of the film, MacFarlane clearly jumps on his passion for swing and jazz to give the sequel an opening title of gloss and black tie pizzazz. Ted dances around showgirls and tux wearing gentlemen in a stylish number accompanied by a swelling orchestra. Generally, the film is fantastic for the music, either by Walter Murphy’s score which gives the movie a better sound or excerpts of tracks from songs and movies that play on comedy. The best of which is John William’s ‘Jurassic Park’ theme over the sight of a huge field of weed.

The film can be quite often predictable and apart from a few ideas that spark comedy of cleverness, it’s a dry repeat of what we’ve seen before just with courtroom drama thrown in. Though I may have to say that Liam Neeson wanting to buy cereal is one of the best scenes I’ve watched in a long time and Ted with John shouting law type lingo from the trailer is great. The New York comic con section is also well done in terms of being the big finisher for the plot to prove Ted’s worth.

Mark Wahlberg is a much better comedic actor than his serious stuff, in my opinion. There’s something about him where you can tell he’s having fun and so you do also. Amanda Seyfried is a funky addition, being a great similarity for John’s behaviour, her thread of not knowing popular culture is well delivered and she’s what helps the court scenes have more punch as she seriously speaks about history of justice. Seth MacFarlane voices Ted with the usual profanity and quick wit. Morgan Freeman on a voice you want to sleep on a bed of, does Morgan Freeman as the way to wrap up the film and sound informed.

Moronic and firing offensive jokes left right and centre can get tiring but if you loved or even liked Ted, than this film will be right up your street. It’s got a better story running through it and with a few well structured comedic moments, this 2015 sequel isn’t actually horrendous, I enjoyed it, laughed and would watch it again.

6.5/10

Epic (2013)

Of course the notion of good versus evil is done to breaking point, and even more so in family animations, to try and spark that idea to children about being on the good side, this 2013 feature is no exception, drafting in the well used handbook of wrongdoers trying to usurp a kind leader and her followers. The predictable storytelling is no issue when a film looks as stunning as this one does.

Travelling to visit and stay with her father, M.K (Amanda Seyfried) is nearly out the door in the first day as she realises her dad is still obsessed with the idea that the forest is full of little people living there. On the same day, the queen of the forest (Beyonce Knowles) is about to pick the heir when Mandrake (Christoph Waltz) and his baddies show up. M.K ends up the size of an ant as she tries to help Nod and Ronin (Josh Hutcherson and Colin Farrell) keep the heir protected and save the forest from rotting doom.

Written by Chris Wedge, James V. Hart and William Joyce, the story is nothing new or stirring but for young audiences the balance of nasty foes battling loyal and nice heroes is more than enough. There’s nothing overly grand to keep older audience goers amused or entertained in terms of writing but the story can’t be bemoaned as it does the job it’s doing well and this nature setting is a fine setting for the plot.

Every scene and moment with sequences or character motives, works in the building of the plot, even a brief moment with a Pitbull voiced frog has its reasoning for continuing the narrative. Chris Wedge directs this fantasy adventure film with a clear eye for microscopic detail, as if he too is zooming in on the greenery like M.K’s dad. The scenes work and though you know where moments may be going it doesn’t spoil the wonder of seeing it happen. It’s still got a fine level of suspense in trying to keep the forest warriors one step ahead of Mandrake and his cronies and Wedge demonstrates this good/evil back and forth solidly.

Blue Sky Studios are most known for their ‘Ice Age’ outings but these rises above in terms of visuals. It fails to mirror in terms of comedy and zaniness but the team of animators have lovingly crafted a gorgeous movie. The lush green palette runs through as a near constant colour for good and hope, making the gnarled blackened images that much worse. Bright purples, reds and blues aid the rainbow like world of living flowers and fungi folk and the general look of these dandelion people or the leaf-men is exquisite. The detail of this forest floor world and how M.K sees it is beautiful. Animation has never felt so crisp and perfectly designed.

It’s a shame then that a few well ridden practices of plot devices weigh down what could have been a very original bold and interesting film. Also, the happy ending is clear from a mile off, the estranged parent-child routine is tired now too and cliched sidekick characters aiming for laughs feels like a slimy stretch from the frankly irritating slug and snail duo. It’s a title that fails to live up to expectations as the film is not epic, it’s incredible at times and fun but certainly not epic.

Colin Farrell gifts the film that magical sort of lilt in his Irish accent. This helps further with Danny Elfman’s score that at times sounds like a tune of folklore from the Emerald Isle. Bouncy and jovial his music brings that element of fantastical frolic to proceedings. Farrell can be stern and gruff when he needs to be too. Amanda Seyfried has that enjoying pleasure of wonder in her voice recording, she sounds innocent and sweet but confident in herself and what she needs to do in the story. Josh Hutcherson steps up from the mopey Peeta angle and is jerky but likable as the gallivanting and cocksure Nod. Beyonce is the queen and that says it all as a fun little joke at her musical icon status. Jason Sudeikis sounds skittish and eccentric as the forest mad dad, though when he needs to lower this for attempts in patching up family problems he does so well. Christoph Waltz will always be the man to go to for villainous roles and this movie is no exception. That delicious snarl in the words he delivers makes for a charismatic yet clearly evil character.

A thinly constructed story built around the less than original notions of good and bad, family fractures and young romances but look more closely and marvel in the sheer bright fluidity of the animation. A joy to behold.

6.5/10

While We’re Young (2015)

Interesting in it’s portrayal of integrity and reflective in the characters it makes you think about. This may not be a perfect film or an out and out winner, but get through a mild start and there’s a tense, sweet and honest mix of good feelings to be had upon seeing this movie play on.

In the throes of assembling a documentary, Josh (Ben Stiller) meets a pair of younger and freer souls than himself and wife Cornelia (Naomi Watts). As they both spend more time with Jamie and Darby (Adam Driver and Amanda Seyfried) they see more about their own marriage, age, perspectives in the good and the bad.

Certainly, it can be said, well at least by me, that the first quarter or so of the film through all it’s setting up and the like began to drag. It had a spark that quickly fizzled and for Noah Baumbach’s script that is a sore spot but it redeems itself in the last quarter when a change of tone makes you sit up and pay more attention. Gladly putting the weird centre to one side the thriller-esque pace of discovery seen literally and metaphorically ends the movie on a high note.

The deep and constant themes of truth, authenticity of action, age and the effects of adulthood play key sounds in this film’s songbook. Baumbach uses these well to build on a comedic screenplay but though there is fun moments the story isn’t necessarily funny and I don’t really feel it needed to be. The serious aspects of responsibilities, poignant desires to be young, blossoming resentment and dislike have their humourous lines but all in all they come firing out as a learning cinematic journey of how people can be and who we are.

Amongst the pitfalls and triumphs of Josh and Cornelia’s enlightening path, you get lovely light moments blurred with darker worries of what these mysterious 20 somethings are bringing to the table. I think this film could well make people think about their position, how their younger past once was and what they’re like now, that ultimately gives this film a great power of looking to the future, not just for the characters on screen but for the audience also.

It has to be said that along the way, a level of douchebaggery is pushed to 11, Spinal Tap style. The hipster imagery grates more often than not, though it’s understandable, the transition quality of the plot is pushed into the realm of hip younger oddities like cafes, hats and raman led drug awakenings. There is a good chunk of the film that feels strained through a strange sieve and comes out making you question how to take the movie.

The film deals well the choice to lift from a Henrik Ibsen play and quote it’s passage about opening a door to younger people. Always flicking back to this opening credit, I felt that the movie concerns the fear and yet hopefulness of accepting something new and unknown in a marvellous way. The end featuring a toddler and a mobile further pushes open that door of letting in a new view, this world and the muddling of tech and age is more muddled than ever before and the movie ends on that thought. At least that’s what I took from it.

Ben Stiller steps off the catwalk declaring Zoolander 2 and comes into his own once again, showing he can do serious. The light side of his comedy is still there but in his frustrations of his work and the annoyance he can feel towards Jamie, Stiller proves he’s a great leading man for dramatic pieces too. Naomi Watts doesn’t only bust a funny move in a spirited hip-hop class but brings dramatic weight to a wife that feels lost and trapped in that routine of normality. Adam Driver is possibly the only character to leave you cold, whether intentional or not, I left disliking Jamie, he’s a dick and goes the wrong way to get what he wants. Amanda Seyfried is bubbly and youthful in the role given and bounces back with what could be a boring happy wife mould to see how connotations in the flecks of growing older play to her narrative.

The film is fantastic at discussions of honesty, method and consequence in documentary film-making and in turn it feels nearly as fantastic in letting us watch the characters grow around one another. It’s only off the mark because it gets weird and has annoying patches. Still, a sharp and a well handled peek at the understanding of age gaps.

6/10

Lovelace (2013)

A skin flick star and her story of fame are the sizzling hot topic of this bio-pic and taken on by documentary directors Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman, this film about Miss Lovelace is engaging and saucy to say the least but wonderfully more than that, it’s dramatic and provides insight. It may not be a films film, feeling at times like a TV doc, and the way some of it is handled is only surface deep but on the whole, ‘Lovelace’ deals well with opening our eyes on this woman’s life.

A 21 year old Linda Boreman (Amanda Seyfried) becomes a go-go dancer with best friend Patsy (Juno Temple). On that night she meets Chuck Traynor (Peter Sarsgaard) who opens her eyes and mouth to a whole new sexual world. Traynor pushes Linda to become a porn star sensation and as Linda Lovelace she appears in Deep Throat, making her a huge name even if she isn’t so keen on being the celebrity she’s made to be.

It is clear to see the documentary style Friedman and Epstein possess. They obviously know how to handle factual matters and though some things in this film may be slightly tweaked, the weighty matters of Lovelace’s private life are portrayed with in a dark manner. It feels like a show on the telly enlightening us about the life and times of Lovelace, just with that extra added spice of movie shine.

The screenplay itself, by Andy Bellin is sometimes comic and sometimes very worrying as we see what happens to Linda. The way the film takes a new life is great to see and stops it from being a dull affair. There’s a moment in the story that sees an older Linda take a lie detector test and then we zoom back into the past. This film delightfully shows two sides of a coin, one being the glamorous showbiz world of hers and then the second grimier side shows her behind the doors subjected to fear and abuse by the hands of her husband Chuck. This works well in mixing up the plot and jumping about in time also, without this I fear the film could have suffered much much more.

The music of the feature is great, taking us back to the era of the wild 70’s. It funnily sounds like ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’, with a couple of tracks being ones used in the later Marvel movie! Stephen Trask does his best to compliment the louder radio tunes of the 1970’s with his score but a lot of his music pales away, only bits survive in the memory as building tension in key moments of Linda’s dark married life.

I can sort of see why reviews were critical as the film doesn’t live up potential and it does sadly focus a lot more on the body of Linda instead of the character which is odd considering it’s trying to build a case of aligning audiences with her as a person. Asides from this I rather enjoyed this film for what it is, it’s fun and has the moments of light and shade and the acting from most of this cast is brilliant.

Amanda Seyfried uses her expressive wide eyes to give Linda as much sympathy as possible. She plays the very sweet and innocent figure lovingly, putting you on her side from the beginning even if the film threatens to lose that. Seyfried looks gorgeous and dazzles as the billboard adult icon, her rise to this more confident person is evident and she gives Linda a journey to watch unfold. Peter Sarsgaard is a domineering force in this film, his masculine presence being of great concern as he looms about in several scenes. He wades into scenes like a tidal wave of power and control and Sarsgaard along with Seyfried triumph as the best qualities of the movie. Sharon Stone is fantastic and to be honest I didn’t even realise it was her until the credits appeared. James Franco is playing Hugh Hefner and that tells you all about the man, in another one of his roles that sees him smirk and keep me feeling that he’s a creepy individual.

‘Lovelace’ didn’t hit the big time at the box office in the same way the the real Lovelace did in the X-rated ‘Deep Throat’, but it does it’s best with its two main stars to tell quite a startling story about the rise of an adult entertainer and the fearsome life she came home to. Not overly lasting but solid enough to feed information about who Linda really was.

6/10

Red Riding Hood (2011)

You can clearly tell this is from the director of Twilight as Catherine Hardwicke takes the classic folk tale and breathes a tween romance and heavily washed out tone to the proceedings. It works here though in making the iconic red coat and hood stand out all the more, even if the romantic side of things feels cheesy there’s still slightly enough in the way of action and mystery to keep you watching.

Obviously you must know the plot in terms of the roots it stems from, well here it gets turned on it’s head slightly with sprightly Hood now called Valerie (Amanda Seyfried), the prettiest of her siblings who is arranged to marry Henry Lazar (Max Irons) even though she wishes to flee the village with woodcutter Peter (Shiloh Fernandez). That romantic triangle cheese ball gets threatened with the full moon ritual of a wolf terrorizing the village. The arrival of hunter Father Solomon (Gary Oldman) makes them realise the wolf is one of them and Valerie may be the only one to get that secret uncovered.

It’s a shame the script by David Leslie Johnson is chockablock with cliche ridden drama and cheese stringed romance. Some of the lines honestly take you miles out of the movie as you either laugh or cringe at how obviously written the dialogue is. It pains to see Seyfried or Oldman have to deliver such awful words. The actual love triangle thing itself is boring and been done so many times and I couldn’t care less for Valerie and whoever she ends up with. It’s this whole washed out angsty vibe that was big at the time with a demographic that lapped up strained romantic qualities. The writing of the mystery of who is the werewolf is also never inspiring or out-there-wow-oh-my-what-a-twist sort of material. In fact there’s too many options gifted of other suspects making it clear it’s not them and I pegged the correct figure behind the teeth and fur halfway through before forgetting all about it in the lack of interesting progression.

The village itself looks very Brothers Grimm inspired and has that snowy postcard look of a story such as this but I just don’t get why it needed to be done at all as a modern movie with changes. The palette is very Twilight, the feel is also that category of dark fantasy but the funny thing is it never feels that dark really. The only dark aspect which I liked and got me drawn back into the movie was the elephant used as torture, where a human is subjected to being stuffed in a hollow elephant over a fire until they talk….or die. The look of the wolf is another unfortunate weak point with the CGI failing to give you goosebumps as the wolf looks more like the Animagus of Sirius Black, all the more odd considering he’s in this damn film and in ‘Prisoner of Azkaban’ Black’s dog was more scary anyway.

Amanda Seyfried is beautifully captivating as the central character and does the best to make you feel for Valerie as a character and at few infrequent moments I did but that’s not down to her acting, that’s thanks to the shoddy workings of the script. Seyfried looks the part and what big eyes she has to convey all the emotions needed but even her grace and talent can’t shake you from realising the film doesn’t have much to offer. Gary Oldman pulls out another dud in his film career where he seems to rock from hit to fail all the time. Another character with that weird accent and villainous air to add to his bow though aside from exploitation devices, hammy acting and cheesy dialogue he does provide a reasonable counter part to Seyfried’s heroine.

This is a pretty bad movie though not as horrendously bad as others have said, I preferred watching this to the last film I reviewed, ‘Dazed and Confused’. If you can look past the lack of darkness, tension, sexual connections, bad writing, visuals and a surreal dire last scene of dreams and endings then there’s an okay film to see here. Like only just scraping being okay by the claws of the big bad wolf.

5.5/10

 

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

Overall a fairly standard summer film that attempts to deliver on comedy but misses that target. It has some nice thought processes, some relatively funny moments too but on the whole it is a comedy with hardly any laughs or to be more precise laughs that are scattershot.

This film’s plot sees a cowardly useless sheep farmer named Albert (Seth MacFarlane) lose his girlfriend Louise (Amanda Seyfried) for being said useless and cowardly. He plans to win her back as quite evidently she is the the best thing to happen for him and upon the mysterious arrival of two new western folk he gets that chance when working with one of the pair, a confident capable woman called Anna (Charlize Theron). The only problem is Albert gets himself involved in a duel with Louise’s new arrogant annoying squeeze (Neil Patrick Harris) and that’s not the only thing in the wild wild west that could kill him as he very well knows.

It defintley comes with the MacFarlane brand of humour and that cutaway vibe he is so known for with his popular cartoon show, ‘Family Guy’. It works to a degree at times with quick snap cuts showing something daft or gross providing humour but after a while it’s tiresome and the main issue is a lot of unnecessary crass child-like toilet humour. There is a random moment too that feels like MacFarlane wanted to dabble in odd CGI that is very reminiscent of the trippy hallucinogenic ride Brian went on when he took shrooms in ‘Family Guy’. The entire segment also feels like a Tim Burton-esque foray into a Dark Wonderland with floating sheep, a terrifying condor and plate eyes for Seyfried. This film ultimately fails on being that funny which is a shame as it could have been so much better.

One thing that really doesn’t help is the running time being overly long, with some smart editing and story work the film could have been snappier and felt shorter. It’s not great when a comedy can’t zip along like it should. The issue with this also lays in the clear predictability of the plot. It’s so obvious what the ending will be and where Albert will end up so to take so long to get there feels pointless and boring, even a few well pitched moments of comedy can’t save that drag.

The main thing going for this film that also sees the debut of MacFarlane stepping into cowboy boots of live action acting is that it has intelligent points and the star cameos that come now and then are genius. The clever core can be found in the negativity of setting up the Old West as a grimy wasteland filled with possibilities of death. The modern language and incredible OTT methods of dying get rid of that usual romanticism of Western movies and brings in a new interesting flavour. Seeing people like Ryan Reynolds and Ewan McGregor pop up is fun and inspired in blink and you’ll miss it cameos that do actually work well.

This movie does look gorgeous and the opening shots of the landscape and in fact the imagery throughout is on point to making this place look amazing even if the whole content of this plot is to set up the place as a dangerous worrying place to reside. Of course with Seth MacFarlane at the helm you get some relevant stirring score as he does love his live orchestral sounds to accompany his work and throughout it does add to this genre, it’s just not enough to detract from the often stupid humour that treats itself as being smarter than it really is.

MacFarlane is run of the mill as an actor in this though he does excel at pratfalls and the numerous knockdowns he recieves are quite funny to be truthful. Charlize Theron is ballsy and strong minded as the incoming love interest and acts well opposite the buffoonish lead. Seyfried does as well as she can with a limited role though props to her for taking part in a new sexual piece of foreplay that looks incredibly disgusting. Sarah Silverman and Giovanni Ribisi are sort of annoying and sort of sweet as Albert’s friends and odd couple, one a virgin and the other a prostitute. Liam Neeson is Liam Neeson in the west showing that snarl enough times to make sure you know he’s the bad guy and Neil Patrick Harris has some odd vocal tic after sentences that adds to his moustached douchey persona, though he does provide one of the funnier moments in the well choreographed sequence at the barn dance set to a musical number about…moustaches.

It’s a pretty limp affair that only serves up laughs from time to time and it’s one that makes you realise just how much Seth MacFarlane should stay behind the visage of a toon, getting back to trying to do clever things for the Griffins instead of trying to reinvent the Western.

5.5/10